Failure to Be

I sit in this awareness, trying hard to see a blank canvas;

stressing my heart’s biases to melt away into a quiet place;

squeezing this ever sense of urgency to cool its heels and breathe

through its impulses to make everything better.

It will all be what it will all be… and yet,

I still inhale need and exhale salvation; as if

my only salvation is to be needed.

God loves me

because I am the child who makes him laugh the hardest.

At times, His humored tears touch my spirit, letting me know

I have put on an excellent show, and now it’s time to resign.

But these veins are ambitious; harboring

this blood infused with endless purpose; embodied in

this being of unsettled life.

A state of rest is foreign and intrusive to my design.

What does it mean to not do, say, think, feel…

impose my essence into the universal echo

at all times?

This may be my only existence in this reality.

Therefore, in good conscience, I can never just be.

Challenge for Growth Prompt #3: Learning to Be

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7 thoughts on “Failure to Be

  1. Pingback: Challenge for Growth Prompts: First Month’s Summary | Living, Learning and Letting Go

  2. Pingback: Challenge for Growth Prompt #4: Think Before Saying Yes or No | Living, Learning and Letting Go

  3. Pingback: Challenge for Growth Prompt #3: Learning to Be | Living, Learning and Letting Go

  4. I complete resonate with what you are saying. It seems impossible for me to “be” too, yet I sense that is part of what I’m here to learn. I don’t know if I will be able to learn it in this lifetime, but I have the hope and the desire!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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